Knife is for K
I wasn’t interested in patterns or significance. I just wanted him to cut me. I wanted to feel skin parting, I wanted to feel myself bleed, I wanted to be scared enough of something to hold myself still.
Listen
I’m chained and kneeling in the corner of the room when the doorbell goes. He put me there – naked but for the collar around my neck, chain lead attached to the wardrobe to keep me in place. I’m on my knees, legs a little splayed, bright red cane marks striping my thighs from earlier when I voiced my disagreement about this proposed treatment.
Once upon a time: A night from the past in 5 parts
He often mocks me like this, pretending ignorance of the hurt he’s caused, treating me as if I’m stupid and peculiar for reacting. It upsets and arouses me in equal measures.
First Times
It wasn’t the first time I had kissed a girl but it was the first time I had been kissed by a woman. Soft and firm all at once. She felt so different to the men I usually kissed – they were rough, insistent, pushy. Men with all their endless wanting. This felt so different.
Toy
I never feel more like a doll than when I’m with him. He likes to dress me up, pose me, restrain me in elaborate ways so I can barely react or move when he fucks me.
Masturbation Monday… or not
As I write this I am sticky and satisfied, flushed and slightly breathless, coasting on that delicious loose-limbed whole body high that is the result of a really good orgasm.
Three Memories
He has never hit me in the stomach before and whilst the blow is not hard it is shocking, as is the change in him as he hits me. I feel rather than hear myself gasping and I am scuttling backwards on the bed like a spider, like a man falling, but there’s nowhere to go and I end up in a corner with him almost on top of me, crouched over me with a raised fist.
80 (cane) kisses
I adore canes. When me and Kristan do impact play it nearly always includes canes, and it’s also one of the things I fantasise about a lot. I love the immediacy of the biting sting that is impossible to block out, I love the noise it makes both whipping through the air and on impact, and I especially love the marks it leaves me with.
Bite ya tongue
We end up off-centre on my bed, with me below him, as he relentlessly fucks my mouth. I’m twisted slightly at an angle and I can feel the side of my tongue being pushed into the sharp edge of my teeth with every thrust.
Love in dark places
I find Kristan, and we leave to go to another party. When we get there we lightly mingle. We do illicit things. He fucks me in a sex swing in almost pitch blackness. Pulls my bodysuit aside and rips a hole in my tights to get to me.