Degrees of Zero

…And nothing hurt: Masochist Musings

Cozy/sexy/cute

I like lingerie – I like wearing things that make me feel sexy and slutty, and I also like wearing sports bras and boxers and feeling tough, cool, lightly masculine. My favourite kinds of loungewear, however, are roomy pyjama bottoms, brushed flannel, too-big t-shirts belonging to my partner that I hide before he leaves.

Chained

The first time I ever touched them I was wearing more clothes than I’d ever worn to do aerial before, and when I eventually performed on the chains it was with as much bare skin as possible. I was obsessed with the dichotomy of flesh and metal, of dancing with something so fraught with harm.

Listen

I’m chained and kneeling in the corner of the room when the doorbell goes. He put me there – naked but for the collar around my neck, chain lead attached to the wardrobe to keep me in place. I’m on my knees, legs a little splayed, bright red cane marks striping my thighs from earlier when I voiced my disagreement about this proposed treatment.