Masturbation Monday… or not
As I write this I am sticky and satisfied, flushed and slightly breathless, coasting on that delicious loose-limbed whole body high that is the result of a really good orgasm.
Three Memories
He has never hit me in the stomach before and whilst the blow is not hard it is shocking, as is the change in him as he hits me. I feel rather than hear myself gasping and I am scuttling backwards on the bed like a spider, like a man falling, but there’s nowhere to go and I end up in a corner with him almost on top of me, crouched over me with a raised fist.
80 (cane) kisses
I adore canes. When me and Kristan do impact play it nearly always includes canes, and it’s also one of the things I fantasise about a lot. I love the immediacy of the biting sting that is impossible to block out, I love the noise it makes both whipping through the air and on impact, and I especially love the marks it leaves me with.
Things I Don’t Remember
I don’t remember repeating his name over and over until he tells me that I did, and then the memory comes back, and I can almost feel it, the ghost of what I meant when that was the only word I could say.
Bite ya tongue
We end up off-centre on my bed, with me below him, as he relentlessly fucks my mouth. I’m twisted slightly at an angle and I can feel the side of my tongue being pushed into the sharp edge of my teeth with every thrust.
Hiding Behind Words
Being “outed” has never held that much concern for me. But now that I’m writing about my very personal life – especially because what I like to write is often dark or difficult – that’s started to change.
Love in dark places
I find Kristan, and we leave to go to another party. When we get there we lightly mingle. We do illicit things. He fucks me in a sex swing in almost pitch blackness. Pulls my bodysuit aside and rips a hole in my tights to get to me.
On Crying
It is an effort to still my breathing and swallow sobs. There is a place inside that they are all forced into until my chest feels like it might expand and burst. I bite my cheeks and swallow again. Feel my eyes widen with the effort. Squeeze them shut.
Look at what the light did now
There is a crack in everything – that’s how the light gets in…